i love how harry and ron are just down to fight malfoy at any time for any reason since the very beginning. even when they’re going to their duel in the philosopher’s stone harry gets his wand out on the way just in case draco pops out of nowhere he wants to be 100% ready to go. when harry wins his second quidditch match ron doesn’t even notice, he’s too busy punching on with malfoy in the stands. they basically wake up in the morning, brush their teeth and prepare for a fight god bless
listen… harry potter is the most savage person in the entire series like this kid decimates people with one comeback can you imagine james potter would have been so proud like
“they stuff people’s heads down the toilet the first day at stonewall. want to come upstairs and practice?” "no, thanks. the poor toilet’s never had anything as horrible as your head down it – it might be sick.” fucking eleven year old harry!! already a lil mini savage!!!!!
“listening to the news! again?“ "well, it changes every day, you see” my boy!!! mouthing off to the dursleys!! who gives a fuck?? not harry potter
“’congratulations, harry! i wonder if you could give me a quick word? how you felt facing that dragon? how do you feel now about the fairness of the scoring?’ ‘yeah, you can have a word,’ said harry savagely. ‘goodbye!’” holy fuck!! when harry potter literally does not give a shit anymore and jk rowling knows it and literally!!! canonically!!! makes him a savage harry is literally savage it says it right there in the goblet of fire
“it’s time you learned some respect!” “it’s time you earned it.” mouthing off to the minister of magic damn harry authority who????? what??? respecting your elders??? harry doesn’t give a shit!!!!
“sure you can manage that broom, potter? got plenty of special features, hasn’t it? shame it doesn’t come with a parachute - in case you get too near a dementor.“
"pity you can’t attach an extra arm to yours, malfoy, then it could catch the snitch for you.” oh shit!!!! legit how many times do u think malfoy literally cried to his dad because harry burned him!!!! where’s the aloe vera!!!!
"yes, sir." "there’s no need to call me ‘sir’ professor.” oh fucking shit!!!! did you think i was gonna forget this!!! the holy grail of harry being savage as fuck oh my god!!!! james potter is fucking cheering in heaven!!!! he made a cake to commemorate this moment!!!! three years later lily’s chillin and james comes up and he’s like “holy fuck lil remember that one time harry was like ‘no need to call me sir professor’ and snape like flipped shit!!! that was fucking awesome” and lily is like “shut the fuck up we get it your son is a savage”
social media aus make everything better lmao literally imagine the harry potter books + social media. second year someone snapchats a picture of literal death threats written on the walls in blood captioned ‘’hogwarts its the safest place in the world’ lmao bitch where??’ fourth year #potterstinks is trending locally on twitter. sixth year story gets out about harry’s conversation with snape and everybody in the gryffindor group chat changes their name to ‘roonil wazlib’ for a week. draco bitching about harry on yik yak as if the entire school doesn’t know for a fact its him.
if i may
Hogwarts girls all sharing pinterest boards of the ideal
yule ball #aesthetic
Fred and george’s twitters being #1 in the school because
they post stuff like: ‘Filch’s office has a nice carpet it would be a shame if
someone… replaced it with ants… hmm… imagine… swarms of ants… in Flich’s
office… right at this moment…’
Inquisitorial Squad has a facebook page which it’s
compulsory to like but no matter how hard they try they can’t get anyone to
like their new profile pic of all of them posing like absolute white boys
outside the greenhouses
Dumbledore is the Cher of Hogwarts Twitter
Colin Creevy’s snapchat story basically just being videos of
Harry sleeping with captions like ‘the boy who sleeps!!!!!!’
Moaning Mertle having 38 minute long youtube videos that
have 2 views
A reddit thread of ‘Where is Sirius Black???’ and someone
keeps posting dog puns on it but no one knows who it is
Dumbledore has to ask everyone at the start of term feast to
stop creating fake McGonagall Instagram’s that are just full of cat pictures
with captions like ‘my damn hair was a CAT-astrophe today’
YAHOO ANSWERS: ‘if I was trying to sneak a bunch of cloaked
figures into school without anyone noticing in order to redeem my father in the
eyes of Death Eater Jesus how would I do that I am asking for a friend’
MORE YAHOO ANSWERS: ‘how to tell entire class of students
that teacher is a werewolf without arousing suspicion’
FUCKING YAHOO ANSWERS MAN: ‘is it bad to keep dragon inside
wooden house’ and then ‘spell to rebuild wall of wooden house after enormous
fire’
Slughorn would be one of those instagramers who tag
everything with about 3939 tags like #followforafollow #likeforalike #f4f
#funny #hilarious #lol #popular #fitness #instalike #inspiration #love #hate
even when the photo is literally just a shot of his thumb
I could go on for years oh my god can you picture McClaggans
Facebook where he tags Hermione in every fitness photo until she is forced to
unfriend him
Out of nowhere people start getting followed by someone called @Thesiriusblack on instagram and all it has is a “surprise bitch, I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me” meme
the memes though
history of hogwarts becomes a huge thing because fred and george got their hands onto youtube so everyone talks about it now. “sticks. and brooms. broomsticks”
neville becomes FAMOUS for years because trevor is the face of the pepe meme.
peeves playing “never gonna give you up” near valentine’s day
listen harry potter didn’t know what the fuck he was doing throughout the entire series and he still did all that shit so if he can do great things by without really knowing what he’s doing so can u
